GEEZER 411
WELCOME TO GEEZER 411!


This is where baby boomers and geezers meet to find information relating to our golden years.  You can find information about health issues, weight loss,  and fitness along with anti-aging tips. 

Look above in the ribbon to see the various categories that you can explore and find some informative articles about different subjects.  We will be adding new information periodically in an attempt to keep you abreast of the latest news that pertain to us.





HUMOR FROM THE MAIL BAG:


We are always getting interesting and funny e-mails from our friends so we thought we'd share some of them with you.  We will be posting some of the better less risque ones; we hope you enjoy them!  Tell your friends and send us some so we can share them.

If you don't find what you are looking for; please send me an email at
Warren@geezer411.com and let me know so I can get our staff  what you're looking for! 



Have a Great Day!!


SAFETY

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W H A T   I S   A   G R A N D P A R E N T ?

Taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds. You'll love it !


  • "Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other peoples."
  • "A grandfather is a man and a grandmother is a lady!"
  • "Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money."
  • "When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars."
  • "They show us and talk to us about the colors of the flowers and also why we shouldn't step on 'cracks.'
  • "They don't say, 'Hurry up.' "
  • "Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes."
  • "They wear glasses and funny underwear."
  • "They can take their teeth and gums out."
  • "Grandparents don't have to be smart."
  • "They have to answer questions like 'Why isn't God married?' and 'How come dogs chase cats?'"
  • "When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again."
  • "Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us. "
  • "They know we should have snack time before bed time, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we've acted bad. "
  • "A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. ''OH,'' HE SAID, ''She lives at the airport and when we want her we just go and get her....When we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport.
  • "Grandpa is the smartest man on earth he teaches me good things ..Don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him! "
  • "It's funny when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog."


Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea....does that mean that one out of five enjoys it?


 


If people from Poland are called Poles,
then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?



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As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice:

When you put the two words 'The ' and 'IRS' together, it spells
'THEIRS'?



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10 Peeves Dogs Have With Humans


Top 10 Peeves Dogs Have With Humans

1. Blaming your farts on me..... Not funny... not funny at all!!!

2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN'
DOG!!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooooooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9. Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven't you noticed the fur?

10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.

I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like  Mission Control and asked him to come over.

Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong ?"

He replied,"It was an ID ten T error."

 I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless I inquired, "ID ten T error ? What's that?

In case I need to fix it again"

Eric grinned...'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

'No,' I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

 So I wrote down: ID10T

I used to like Eric, the little bastard!

if you're not a Senior yet then send this to one..


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